Of shuffled music, some good R&Bs and matters of the heart

I usually stick to listening to a few albums at a particular time. Maximum five at a time, with one or two albums that I have been assigned to (for writing purposes), one classic or slightly old album that I have grown fond of through time and two of the latest albums recently released. But there were times when I got stuck to that one album for a long period of time. Usually when I got excited with one or two tracks in it, especially the ones I can relate to. I hardly shuffle. I hardly go Genius or use the DJ function on iTunes. And this is not good. Sometimes I forgot what I have in my library until the time has come for that moment to shuffle. The time when I can't no longer take any Lamar or Ocean, or that beautiful new record from Ms. Spector. Even classics by Mr. Redding or my all-time favorite of Ms. Etta James seem out of touch to me at certain time. These are the times when I shuffle and let myself be surprised with what I have.

After my recent heartbreak encounter, I tried my best to ignore breakup songs. More often than not,  I do admit I allow myself into searching for that one song or one album that represents my situation. I love how songs speak for me. I love having a soundtrack that understands when others not. I have for too long, allow myself to let loose in such away. No matter how fucked up the situation might be, heartbreaks allow me to be creative and I like that. I have even loosely wrote a song that I hope the band would want to proceed with.

The shuffle have led me to that R&B goodness of Brandy's Never Say Never, an album I have kept and mostly ignored this recent years. Definitely one of the best R&B albums of all time (at least to me, even her follow-up albums are too crappy to even be compared to this one), Never Say Never had Brandy delivered her most solid sound to date with urban contemporary vibe at its best. Complete with highly-rated production, the album does not only reflect a well-written record but it has that attitude and edge that is as important for a R&B record. 

Notable for its hit single duet with the equally talented Monica in "The Boy is Mine" and that heart-wrenching honest-to-God number "Have You Ever," Never Say Never has this one song that I can't seem to ignore: "Almost Doesn't" Count. As I was singing along, word-by-word to Brandy's smooth and warm vocal in a song about that imbalance and doubtful relationship, I got struck by what it actually meant. 

When I first heard the track years back, I can't never seem to understand them words. It's a beautiful song but when you can't relate, you just can't. As Brandy sings "I can't keep on loving you, one foot outside the door / I hear a funny hesitation of a heart that's never really sure," and when she gets to another verse "... but every time you built me up, you only let me down" --- lines like these, they are way too familiar and it hurts deep now that I have been in this shoes. It's not so much of an unrequited love, perhaps it's more of the matter of commitment though I am not entirely blaming the other party for he has every right to feel or act the way he did too but all in all --- despite the ugliness I am still dealing with, the good thing is now I can pretty much say that I have found my track. 

I'm leaving you with this You Tube video for "Almost Doesn't Count," perhaps you might have went through the same too and that you could totally relate. Again, this song, word for word is on point and I can't seem to be able to push that stop button to it. I have let myself immersed in it, perhaps in a good way. Perhaps I have also felt so much better. 

On the brighter note, R&B/soul/hip hop aside, my favorite British folk quartet, the beautiful boys of Mumford & Sons is back and they will be releasing their sophomore record sometime in September and yes, yes, I want to see if I can get my hands on the record beforehand or if not, I am gonna pre-order. Things a fan do.

Later,
Nazirah